Dear NameTag,

Thanks for telling the morning guy that I make the best iced mochas. Compliments are great but second-hand compliments are awesome and you get bonus points for saying it after you’d tasted the one he made for you. In your face, cocky morning guy.

Thanks!

Erin

Dear Enzymes,

I’m sorry I have the urge to hide every time I see you. Your drink isn’t even that hard to make, and you are really friendly all the time. I should not hold your particular type of crazy against you. Even though we all pretend we dread it, I am honored to be your favorite juicer right now. I promise to try to be better.

With affection,

Erin

Dear Picky,

I’m happy to give you that piece of cake right there to the left of the sign, but it works so much better if you tell me this before I box and price a piece of cake for you.

Thanks,

Erin

Dear MuffinMan,

If I could shit muffins, I would keep that basket full of fresh delicious baked goods. But until I work out the mechanics of that, someone will have to bake them, and that someone isn’t me.

Deepest apologies,

Erin